I have seen this twisted, interesting, 'first of it's kind' low-budget, independent film years ago and it freaked me out a little. The movie's got it all: marriage, adultery, possessiveness, rage, and a media staple in 1989, the videotape, aka, the camcorder. Oh, and of course one of my favorite actors, James Spader. (he really plays a great creep, spot on).. The characters are self serving and not really likable.
I am now reading Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage. (Nice segway, right?) Or rather, my husband is reading it aloud, one or two pages a night, so we can both experience it. And I like to hear him read aloud. Or 'out loud' as we say in Philly, I am from Philly so I can say either.
Anyways, I gotta lotta work to do.
Yes I already knew marriage was hard. Trust me I knew and know how hard navigating a successful, intact marriage can be. Especially if you and your spouse are not on the same wave length when it comes to spirituality, family, money, and possessions. Slippery slope. Already went down that slope, and I got the t-shirt.
Now I am learning (in reference to marriage) what Jesus says in Matthew 16:25: "Whoever wants to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it".
Tim Keller states, "Paul applies this principle to marriage. Seek to serve one another rather than to be happy, and you will find a new and deeper happiness.......It is because marriage is 'instituted by God'." Ah, Tim, you and your words. Gold.
But, still, I gotta lotta work to do. I want to seek to serve my husband, but, I am an opinionated, impatient, and many times, domineering...ummmmm...(I'd rather use the term: proactive) woman. I thought that's what he loved about me!! Detail-oriented, a bit of a perfectionist. Whatever. I need to learn to love to serve. Serve my spouse. Not just dinner, not just laundry but serving his spirit, his masculinity, his character. I forget, I may mouth a little white lie to get out of something. I get so wrapped in what needs to be done with every day stuff, I miss opportunities to serve him. Or do I deliberately avoid opportunities to serve him? Truth.
I forget and miss opportunities to serve Him as well. I let days slip by, moments when I could be serving Him, His Greatness. I get wrapped up in the everyday. I forget He is the Giver of Every Day.
So as I keep reading The Meaning of Marriage, I am going to make a concerted effort to serve him. My husband. And Him, my Creator. I want to love to serve.
Spoiler Alert: Sex, Lies and Videotape does not have a happy ending. But you already knew that.
